Growing up in Burrwood

Monday, January 30, 2012

I’m so pissed

Excuse my language but I can’t help it.

As you all know my daughter left her husband and will be getting a divorce.  The kids have been going to their dad’s on the weekends and every weekend Josh comes home sad and upset.

Last Sunday night as Josh was getting ready for bed he told me that he doesn’t want to go to his dads anymore. I asked him why and he told me the things Jon says to them. He makes them fold his laundry. Ok, that’s all well and good as it doesn’t hurt kids to have chores. The problem is, if they don’t do it the way he likes it done he hollers at them and calls them retards.  They have to bring wood in for the wood burner and if they bring the wrong kind in he does the same thing. Josh said they don’t do anything while they’re there and that he spends pretty much of the time in his room.  He said if they get rowdy like they do here he yells and says mean things to them.  He says that they can’t do anything right no matter how hard they try and they don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong.

Well, last night as he was getting ready for bed he says to me, “ I hate my Dad “  I asked him what happened now and you won’t believe the things he told me.  He said he was outside playing on his snowboard and when he fell off his dad rolled his eyes and again called him retard.  Josh has a little girlfriend who he talks and texts with and that evidently irritates Jon.  Josh told me that Jon called Taylor a little Bitch! Now who does that?!  She’s a little girl for heavens sake.  Not only that Jon told them that he had things against Sis that he could take the kids away from her if he wanted.  Josh was really upset about that because he told me he doesn’t want to live with his Dad.  Now believe me, Jon has nothing that would warrant the courts taking the kids away from her.  She works hard, never turns down overtime and never misses a day of work.  She doesn’t go out and party, she doesn’t do drugs and she isn’t dating or even interested in dating.  Jon is just saying these things because he’s pouting and is taking it out on the kids.

I told Josh that sometimes when parents are going through a divorce they say things they shouldn’t and use the kids against each other.  Josh says “My mom doesn’t do that”  And I know for a fact that she doesn’t.  She knows that it only hurts the kids and  would never do anything to hurt them.  She is a wonderful mother and never says a thing to them about their dad.  Too try to soften the blow I told Josh that maybe his dad is sad that things haven’t worked out between him and Sis. I told him that might be why he’s saying the things he does and doesn’t really mean it.  Josh just said, “Yeah, maybe”.

I would love nothing more then to call Jon and give him a peace of my mind but I can’t do that. I know if I did Jon would just get mad at Josh for telling me these things and take it out on him.  Josh did tell me that he told his mom about it and I’m glad of that.

Now I know that kids that age can say and do things that they think might help them get what they want but I don’t think that is the case here. Josh was so upset about it that he even got a headache. He was sad and almost in tears as he was telling me about it.

One good thing. When they get to  court  the kids will have a Guardian Ad Litem who they can talk too. At their ages 14 & 12 I think they will take what they say into consideration and I don’t think they would even consider taking Brody. I don’t think Jon would even go after Brody.  He has no one who can help with the kids at all.  Both of his parents are gone and his sister’s live out of state so he’s on  his own.  And you know darn well if they talk to me I will hold nothing back.  I won’t blast Jon or say things like I think he’s a bum or anything like that,  but I will tell them the things Josh has told me. 

Sorry for the rant but I had to get that out of my system. Besides, I don’t want to forget the things Josh has told me so writing them down is a good thing.  Now I have to get busy around here and go beat the rugs.  Poor rugs, they will suffer from my anger lol.  Hope you all have a super duper day!

 

6 comments:

  1. Oh I could just smack that guy up beside the head for the way he is treating his own children. What he is doing has the potential to cause them mental harm even though there is no physical abuse. I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers.

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  2. I've known couples that have been through divorce and the battles they go through are just absolutely horrible. It has got to be one of the most destructive things that can happen to all involved. Some of my daughters friends from around here talk about it and it's truly devastating to see the casualties of war. I'm sorry about all of this my friend...I know it's heart breaking.

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  3. oh i feel your pain !!! Remember it was my 10 year old that was called that to her face by an adult in a crowded restaruant !! They either just dont care the damage it causes the kids or they just dont get it period,,,i feel so bad for Josh as i watched my own go thru it , but all i can say is, at the age he is, he will decide for himself and make the tough choice that no kid should have to make and Jon may not see much of those kids after this !!
    Beth

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  4. Oh that makes me so mad. It sure would be difficult not slap him. Things on her hah! The number of character witnesses she could get (and not family either) would send him into a tailspin.

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  5. Sherry, this is so sad and down right mean. I'm really glad Josh has you to tell this to. It's just wrong for a parent to be so mean to their child. I don't blame Josh for not wanting to be around him.

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  6. The kids always comes first in a divorce. That is verbal abuse to call them names like that. Having been through a divorce I know his words will carry on in their lives. I would speak up to help the kids.

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